Yesterday i had another first time occurence. After the liturgy i was holding the baby that i baptized and i was cooing and bouncing and rocking her. Then i saw her reach up. At first i thought she was going to touch my face but she was aiming to the side of my face. Then i saw her hand close around something. For a second i wondered what she was holding. Then a tug on the side of my head told me she had grabbed on to my hair. That was startling as i’ve not held a child recently and not at all since my hair has been as long as it is now.
She let go in time and she looked up and broke into a big smile. I beamed back at her. I was so taken by her. That just doesn’t happen to me. I have never wanted kids and i’ve never seen myself as good with children. But i found this child almost impossible to resist. It just woke up all these maternal feelings in me. All i could think was, “This baby is beautiful!” In retrospect i realize this child looked very much like any other 4 month old child i’ve ever seen. But at that moment i was totally in love. i don’t know what i must have looked like nor do i have a sense of how long i held that child. However the father came up to me and said half-jokingly, “You gonna giver her back?” I looked up with a start and said, “Oh, of course.” I couldn’t get that moment out of my head all the rest of the day.
