Here’s the problem: I live as a woman and have done so since 1999. However my parents don’t know this. How can this be? The truth is that they live over 2300 miles from me. They are not a part of my daily life. I live in the place i love and i live my daily life as a woman but my parents have no idea what my life is like. I have chosen to have that way.
I visit my hometown once a year and when i do so i play the part of “the good son.” The funny thing is that everyone outside of my family perceives that i am female. Despite my best efforts to pass as male when i’m at home i don’t. I’m constantly called “ma’am” or “her” or “she” and only my family seems to see me as male. It is a strange thing to be seen as female even when you are trying to be seen as male.
This has been going on for a while and i have had no reason to change this set up. At least not until now. This year when i go home i have to tell my parents who i really am and what my life really looks like.
Why do i have to this? What has changed? In the summer of 2009 they will come to visit me in the city where i live. They are coming because a very special event is happening in my life. They will want to be present to witness that event. And, truth to tell, i want them to be there. However if they come here they will see me in my real life, the one they don’t know about.
And so when i go home i will have to tell them the truth. To be honest i’m not sure they can handle the truth. They may decide that they like the myth of me as their son over the truth that i am their daughter. It is possible that they could be OK with the truth but i doubt it. Still the right thing to do is to tell them and let them decide what to do. I’m not looking forward to that conversation but it has to happen.
I will be going back to my hometown the day after Christmas. I will be there a week. Somewhere in that week i have to have “the talk” with them. I’m scared of how they might react.
